Week 1 Story: The Lumpy Mess of a Man
There once was a man, a lumpy mess of a man, that had it
all. His wife was a radiant woman with big dreams. He had three little
munchkins, a boy and two twin girls. They loved him more than anything. He had
a wonderful job as the CEO of some big-time company and got a big fat salary to
match. This man had the life everyone dreamed of but no one thought he was the
one that deserved to have it. The man was a horrible drunk but his family looked
past it because he treated them well, for now. One day the man went to work, as
usual, and had a meeting, as usual. Little did he know, the meeting was about
whether he could keep his job or not. At the end of the meeting he called his
wife and she was extremely disappointed. He was so depressed that he decided to
go straight to his favorite bar instead of home to his family like he should
have. He drank by himself for an hour or two until an old buddy from college
came in. They reminisced about the good ol’ times while the drinks kept coming.
They decided to go exploring around downtown. What could go wrong? The two
stumbled around town and got the cops called on them once for being too crazy
in public. Even after that, they still wondered around and then one of them got
the idea to try parkour. They jumped over trashcans and climbed on cars but
decided it wasn’t enough. There was a ladder on the side of a building that
looked appealing, so up they went. They reached the top and dared each other to
jump to the next building, that looked a lot closer than it was. The friend
couldn’t get the guts to do it but the lumpy man was nothing but confidence. He
walked backwards to the very edge of the building to get the most distance for
a running start. He got close to the ledge but stepped on a beer bottle and
started to tumble backwards. He fell down that five story building and turned
into a lumpy mess on the concrete. He somehow survived the fall but three
doctors from the city and three surgeons from out of town spent hours in that
room and could not fix all his broken bones. The lumpy mess of a man would
never be the same.

~ ~ ~
Humpty Dumpty sate on
a wall;
Humpty Dumpty had a
great fall;
Three score men and
three score more
Cannot place Humpty
Dumpty as he was before.
[An egg.]
~ ~ ~
Author’s Note. The original rhyme is about an egg man was
sitting on a wall but he dropped off. When he landed on the ground he broke
into a bunch of pieces and people tried to put him back together but they
couldn’t. I tried to turn the story into a modern situation that you might
actually see on the news.
Bibliography.
My story is created off the nursery rhyme “Humpty Dumpty” in The Nursery RhymeBook, edited by Andrew Lang.